Hi. I'm Johnny Utah. I'm new here. But more about me later. For now, I just want you to know why I'm not a Democrat. It has something to do with the fact that I don't think I'm dumb enough to let myself be one...
Go ahead and open this link to Snopes.com.
Ok. Now read that email that Snopes is covering. Seriously, read it.
Right, I know you're lazy, so let me paraphrase some of that ridiculious crap.
On Creationism, Palin's quote reads, "...There is nothing natural about a dorky moose!...God has a well known sense of humor, I mean, he made the platypus too!"
On ANWR, Palin's quote reads, "...God made dinosaurs 4000 years ago as...lizards of satan, really, so when they died and became petroleum products we...could use them in our pickup trucks, snow machines and fishing boats."
I'm not even going to paraphrase the quote on Jesus, Jews and the Israeli Air Force. I just can't do it. My fingers won't let me type such idiocy.
So, what we can learn from this kind of stupidity is:
(jefffoxworthyvoiceon) Now, if you read that and thought, for even a second, that any of those quotes could have been uttered by a candidate for ANY public office anywhere, youuuuu might be a Democrat. (jefffoxworthyvoiceoff, thank God)
Lizards of Satan? Really? This is what you have been reduced to believing?
Dorky Moose? This is just silly.
However, I want to go on record as laying claim to the band name:
Dorky Moose and the Lizards of Satan.
Coming to a Union Hall near you.
I'm Johnny Utah and you can't make this stuff up.
Update (DJ Tablesauce): Apparently Matt Damon is one of those idiots that Johnny Utah was calling out above. Wow. The stupidity knows no bounds.