"What does this mean?", people asked. "Surely he doesn't really want people to think he's a pirate, does he?"
It would make sense, though. We know he likes to use four letter words and hang out among rowdy characters, as pirates are wont to do. As a Democrat, he certainly likes to raid treasure from taxpayers. Maybe there's something to this.
Well, today, Redfern made it official. He's a pirate.
"When t' video o' me talkin' t' t' me union crew and usin' me salty pirate language was made public, me secret was out. I cannot hide it any longer. I'm a buccaneer, and I love t' plunder your tax doubloons... I mean booty!
"Come now, do not act ye so surprised. I even have a pirate name. Redfern! Kinda like Blackbeard.
"Don't hate me because I'm a pirate though. Pirates aren't so bad! That John Kasich, though! He be a real scurvy dog now, and ye can't trust him. Remember me words!"
At this point, Redfern's parrot started squalking loudly, "Kasich! Scurvy dog. Kasich! Tyrant!". Redfern quieted his pet by putting his hook to his beak and pleading "Not now Ted. We'll get him someday."
Happy Friday, everyone.
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