Send in the Clowns

A couple of months back, Senator Sherrod Brown and a group of other Democratic senators introduced a bill to give law enforcement more tools to combat prescription drug thefts. On Wednesday of this week, to coincide with National Police Week, Brown proposed a Blue Alert system, modeled after the Amber alert system, to help apprehend criminals who injure or kill law enforcement officials. Certainly these ideas seem like practical, level-headed policy proposals, and, over the next 17 months, we will certainly see more attempts by Senator Brown to appear eminently reasonable and mainstream. Hell, he might even start combing his hair.

But don’t be fooled, Ohio voters. Sherrod Brown is a fire-breathing leftist, with views far out of step with most Ohioans. Case in point: the National Journal ranks Brown as tied for first place as the most liberal member of the U.S. Senate. He’s tied with the likes of Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and Bernie Sanders of Vermont, who is a self-avowed socialist. Brown is ranked as more liberal than Democrat Patrick Leahy of Vermont, who believes that North Korea permits too much free enterprise.

Brown supports Obamacare, opposes free trade, and thinks partial birth abortions are just ducky. He has a 100% approval record from the AFL-CIO, one of the unions most responsible for the growth of China as an economic power. But Brown’s devotion to the unions is more about the power of union bosses than the welfare of workers. For example, he supported the disingenuously named Employee Freedom of Choice Act, which would have taken away the secret ballot from union members. Even liberal stalwarts like George McGovern opposed that legislation! And Brown recently had to apologize for comparing efforts to curtail the power of public employee unions with the actions of Hitler and Stalin.

Nevertheless, Sherrod’s charade seems to be working. Despite the observation by many that Brown is among the most vulnerable Senate Democrats for the 2012 election, the latest Quinnipiac poll shows Brown ahead of potential Republican challengers. Of course, it’s still relatively early in the game, but if the GOP is having difficulty deciding who will be the most robust candidate to run against Brown, let me suggest that we shouldn’t need a good candidate to beat this clown.

In fact we could run our own clown against Brown, and still beat him. Might I suggest:

That’s right, Homey D. Clown, from the 1990s comedy show, In Living Color. I could just see the debates now . . .

Moderator: Senator Brown, do you support the Ryan plan for reforming Medicare?

Brown: No. We need to protect seniors rather than just tossing them into landfills.

Homey: You take us for a bunch of fools? (walks over and hits Brown over the head with a sock) Everybody knows the program is unsustainable. Doing nothing only ensures that seniors will pay more for lower quality medical care while the country goes bankrupt. The status quo is just another tool of this man, trying to keep America down.

Moderator: Mr. Clown, do you support raising taxes on energy companies and small businesses to reduce the deficit?

Homey: So raise taxes on companies, which will mean higher prices for consumers, more lay-offs, and less competitive businesses? All so Congress can come up with more dumb ways to spend our money while claiming to fight the deficit? I don’t think so. That’s bad for the economy and for taxpayers. Homey don’t play that.

Of course, this is a joke, but so is the idea that Sherrod Brown should be representing Ohioans for another six years.